It's time that I need to get a little selfish…..
The last six years or so of my life have been, needless to say, a whirlwind. I haven't stopped to take much of a breath or really appreciate everything I have in my life. I've devoted myself to being the best wife, mother, daughter, friend, sister…. but somehow along the way, I've lost myself.
It is really hard for me to say that. Really hard to admit that I have so many times of anxiety, frustration, irrational thoughts, bursts of agitation, and sometimes, battle depression. I do like to think of myself as a generally happy person, always looking at the best of every situation, but deep down, inside, I feel lost.
I have a passion for helping people and making people happy. But, I've come to the realization, I cannot help others unless I help myself first.
Why do I feel lost? Well, that's easy. Every minute of every day is about my husband and children. My family, my friends, my animals. The only ME time I get, if I'm lucky, is in the shower or the occasional run to the store alone. I pour my heart and soul into everything for everyone else, it gets exhausting when I can't take even a millisecond on myself.
Hey! I'm not trying to complain at all!
My life, my family, we are totally blessed! I thank the Lord every day for everything we've been blessed with! But, I haven't really taken good care of me (probably why I threw my back out). I don't have a relationship with God like I should, I don't workout near as much as I'd like to, don't eat great most of the time, I drink (maybe a bit more than I should at times), and, on top of all that…. I haven't given MYSELF a break or any self focus. Anyone who knows me, knows I am ALWAYS going and ALWAYS putting myself last.
So here we go. Calling this #projectME. I have so much here to be thankful for, so much to enjoy! I need to be the best possible version of myself! I need to be healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually! It's not just for me, but for everyone in my life.
So, how am I going to achieve this?
1. I will be doing a complete 180 on my diet. I know what I should and shouldn't be doing. I also know that diet affects my mood. So, I need to evaluate what I'm doing, what I need to change, and implement that change!
2. I will be devoting time every morning to myself for personal development.
3. I will start up my yoga challenges again, and challenge myself more in my yoga practice.
4. I will learn more about mediation and mediating every day along with my personal development and yoga practice every morning.
5. I will not allow myself to get stressed out over the small stuff. That being said, I will also make peace with the "troubles" I hold onto and release that stress it causes me to hold.
6. I will learn to do what I preach to my children every day, to love myself.
7. I will go to church more and become more active in the church like I used to be.
8. I will create an obtainable workout goal and stick to it.
9. I will start to take better care of myself, inside and out. My teeth, regular doctor check ups, finally get that over due eye exam, and take better care of my hair and skin.
10. I will put more energy into my projects and hobbies that make me who I am.
11. Finally, last but certainly not least, I will devote myself to be the best wife and mother I can possibly be. Focusing on my family and enjoying more of the many blessings I have.
I do know that #projectME will make me happier, healthier, and a more stable person. Soul searching is so healthy and much needed. That's the point of this. I know I deserve it as well as everyone that's around me. I'm so blessed to have this life I have, and the ability to unplug and to focus on myself.
So, here I am go! Time to find myself again and become the best version of myself as possible! WISH ME LUCK!